Anna’s Update 11: the good-cop/bad-cop routine

Lol, what even is a posting schedule. I clearly don’t know. Many thanks to @zproudtexan for holding it down over here. But, I found another Roman emperor facial reconstruction artist. His name is Haroun Binous, and you can find his graphics for sale here. This interpretation of Maximinus Thrax definitely has a wrestler’s neck. TooContinue reading “Anna’s Update 11: the good-cop/bad-cop routine”

Tex’s Update #11: Too Many Emperors or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Empire’s Decline

Alexander Severus Maximin Gordian I Gordian II Maximus Balbinus Within the span of three years, all of these people were emperor or were declared to be emperor. And yet there was only one possible direction for Rome to go. Yep. Believe it or not, our emperor total is going to the moon. Gibbon delivers ChapterContinue reading “Tex’s Update #11: Too Many Emperors or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Empire’s Decline”

Tex’s Update 10: Buy 1 Emperor, Get 5 Free!

Alex makes a boo boo. A really big boo boo. Despite his relative success and general good-guyness, he eventually ran out of road when a would-be Conan the Barbarian decided he could be the head honcho. The result was… bloody and horrifying. How typical. Gibbon opens up with a hilarious monologue about the failings ofContinue reading “Tex’s Update 10: Buy 1 Emperor, Get 5 Free!”

Anna’s Update 10: roman rumble

This chapter is such a chönk that we’re only getting through the first section today. A recurring thought, which I have not remembered to include until this moment: I would have had a serious talk with Gibbon about his excessive comma usage if he’d asked me to proofread. Chapter 7 Part 1 Before getting toContinue reading “Anna’s Update 10: roman rumble”

Tex’s Update #9: YOLO vs. the Homeschool Kid

Here comes the sun. And the sun god. And a dude claiming the name of the sun god. This is turning into one giant stack of Russian Nesting Dolls. Picking up where we left off, the throne has, once again changed hands and, once again, did so under fairly usurpatious conditions. It is now theContinue reading “Tex’s Update #9: YOLO vs. the Homeschool Kid”

Anna’s Update 9: rich kids of ancient rome

There’s a stylish new emperor in town, he’s assumed the throne under the ruling name of his favorite god, and his top priority is … better ketchup. No, really. This week’s installment brought to you by the letter Chapter 6 Part 3 To return briefly to the last section of Gibbon I covered, he writes,Continue reading “Anna’s Update 9: rich kids of ancient rome”

Tex’s Update #8: The Kids ARE NOT Alright.

I must once again apologize for the delay in this posting, HOWEVER… I am pleased to report my anticipation that this should be the final major posting delay from me! Hopefully you’ve had the opportunity to read @apluswake‘s thoughts for this reading… but if you haven’t: click here. When we last left our intrepid Severus,Continue reading “Tex’s Update #8: The Kids ARE NOT Alright.”

Anna’s Update 8: plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose

I could apply this title to every update, tbh. #historyiscyclical Welcome back! When we last left Severus, he was busy uprooting any restraint to his unchecked power over every branch of government. It seems like several of his predecessors had already done this, making you wonder what checks or balances were left; but every timeContinue reading “Anna’s Update 8: plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose”

Tex’s Update 7: Julian Has a Mid Life Crisis

He heard there was a great deal on a well cared for used yacht. His family said “go for it dad, it’ll be great!” He did. He got it. And he went home with his new yacht, really quite proud of himself. But then he had a moment of clarity: “wait… what in the worldContinue reading “Tex’s Update 7: Julian Has a Mid Life Crisis”

Anna’s Update 7: for sale — one empire, falling apart

When we last left our “heroes” of the Praetorian Guard, they were staring at the steaming remains of Emperor Pertinax, with it slowly dawning in their thick heads that the empire needed a new figurehead fast, or they’d shortly be even worse off than they were under Pertinax’s austerity budget. But first, we examine inContinue reading “Anna’s Update 7: for sale — one empire, falling apart”

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