Tex’s Update 18: And Fanboy was his Name-O…

In a bizarre twist, things are getting ready to… look better for Rome? Really? Is… is this a thing? Or is this Gibbon selectively sharing history to push his preferred narrative of Roman Greatness™️? Let’s find out today! Chapter 13, Part 1 One of the only tricks that Gibbon plays on us in this readingContinue reading “Tex’s Update 18: And Fanboy was his Name-O…”

Tex’s Update 17: Time to Make the Donuts

When we left off in our sixteenth updates, @apluswake and I concluded that Gibbon had posters of Claudius and Aurelian on his bedroom wall. Some had N*Sync, some had a Lamborghini Countach… well, Gibbon’s over there with the Roman it-crowd like But sadly, Gibbon’s Roman Idol #1 died of a disease he contracted through beingContinue reading “Tex’s Update 17: Time to Make the Donuts”

Tex’s Update 16: Gibbon’s Great Sigh of Relief

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! We’re so glad you could attend! Come inside, come inside! And on this week’s episode of Meet the Romans… Gallienus was quite the character, wasn’t he? In fact, he’s quite the character after an entire string of WUT characters. Decius had one of the firstContinue reading “Tex’s Update 16: Gibbon’s Great Sigh of Relief”

Tex’s Update 15: “Gothic Aquatic” & “19 Would-Be Emperors on the Wall”

In the first half of Chapter 10, Gibbon outlined some more Goth history and then chronicled the effectiveness with which the Goths schooled Rome and the unmitigated disaster of Rome’s responses to this. More importantly, he outlined Decius’ realization that Rome’s culture was incredibly broken and, for Rome to prevail, it would have to beContinue reading “Tex’s Update 15: “Gothic Aquatic” & “19 Would-Be Emperors on the Wall””

Tex’s Update #14: Rome Faces the Existential Darkness and Learns about Commonly Misunderstood Subcultures… The Hard Way.

Hat tip to @apluswake for holding down the fort and my apologies for being a few weeks late. I also look forward to being able to work on my normal writing schedule from here out. May Snowmageddon ripple effects be gone! Gibbon must’ve been a Rian Johnson fan. Totally. I mean, look at how heContinue reading “Tex’s Update #14: Rome Faces the Existential Darkness and Learns about Commonly Misunderstood Subcultures… The Hard Way.”

Tex’s Update 13: Willkommen in Deutschland!

We thought we were going to learn about Phillip, who just became emperor. Gibbon had other ideas, so we learned about Zoroastrianism and Persians attacking Alexander Severus. Then, we thought we were going to learn about Persian nobles going to war against Rome, to decidedly bad results for Rome. Gibbon, again, has other ideas. ThisContinue reading “Tex’s Update 13: Willkommen in Deutschland!”

Tex’s Update 12: The Editors Strike Back

After singing my praises in the prior week… I must now return the compliment to @apluswake for holding the posting schedule down while I botched it this past week. Welcome back to ancient Rom… wait. If there is one thing Gibbon enjoys it is CONTEXT. Lots and lots of CONTEXT. Of course, context is important.Continue reading “Tex’s Update 12: The Editors Strike Back”

Tex’s Update #11: Too Many Emperors or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Empire’s Decline

Alexander Severus Maximin Gordian I Gordian II Maximus Balbinus Within the span of three years, all of these people were emperor or were declared to be emperor. And yet there was only one possible direction for Rome to go. Yep. Believe it or not, our emperor total is going to the moon. Gibbon delivers ChapterContinue reading “Tex’s Update #11: Too Many Emperors or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Empire’s Decline”

Tex’s Update 10: Buy 1 Emperor, Get 5 Free!

Alex makes a boo boo. A really big boo boo. Despite his relative success and general good-guyness, he eventually ran out of road when a would-be Conan the Barbarian decided he could be the head honcho. The result was… bloody and horrifying. How typical. Gibbon opens up with a hilarious monologue about the failings ofContinue reading “Tex’s Update 10: Buy 1 Emperor, Get 5 Free!”

Tex’s Update #9: YOLO vs. the Homeschool Kid

Here comes the sun. And the sun god. And a dude claiming the name of the sun god. This is turning into one giant stack of Russian Nesting Dolls. Picking up where we left off, the throne has, once again changed hands and, once again, did so under fairly usurpatious conditions. It is now theContinue reading “Tex’s Update #9: YOLO vs. the Homeschool Kid”

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